Eyes Wide…Open

It’s such a bitch when you find out that you didn’t know someone as well as you thought you did.  It’s also such a bitch when you learn that a friendship wasn’t as good as you thought it was.

I hate to sound melodramatic, but I’m over a lot of shit today and I feel the need to vent it all out.  That’s what blogging is for, right?

I had a conversation with a friend last week.  A conversation that I believed was in confidence, that I believed would go nowhere.  Little to my knowledge, it was repeated to the exact same person we were discussing no sooner than 5 seconds later.  It’s caused a shit-storm.  I hate to be so vague, but I live in constant daily fear that someone I know will discover my blog and be able to determine who I am, based on what I write.  Let’s just say that it led to a huge confrontation between all three of us today.  I feel as though I was treated very unfairly in the whole ordeal, and I’m not just trying to play the victim.  I said what I needed to say to both of them, and while we’re all definitely on the same page about what happened, I am still really angry.  Not as angry as I was at 10:00 this morning, but very angry nonetheless. 

And I had actually come to work in a good mood today!  But the Gods, they had another plan in mind for me. 

“Oh, [CP] is having a good day!  She’s actually seen the break in the clouds!  Let’s pour some more shit on her and watch her drown!”

Then… more stuff happens.  I found out that B and I were purposely not invited to a friend’s birthday party on Saturday night because of this guy.  Basically, the birthday boy is very close with the asshole in the post I put up, yet he’s also very good friends with my boyfriend.  So let me get this straight…  Just because some asshole, who has been friends with my boyfriend for more than 15 years, decides that B needs to choose between their friendship and his relationship with me (and consequently [sp?] B of course chose me and hasn’t spoken to him since then), we all can’t be mature enough to gather together to honor a friend’s birthday? 

Does this make sense to you?

Maybe they didn’t want to deal with any conflict.  But the last time I checked, it was neither B nor I who were wrong in that situation.  If anything, Mr. Birthday Boy and his Girlfriend, who I thought was a friend of mine, should have told the asshole to grow up and keep his mouth shut for one night.  They could have even felt free enough to give the same sage advice to B and myself, if they felt the need.  Yeah, you can say that things happen when people are drinking.  I know this.  But you know what?  It still doesn’t make it right.

So basically, I’m just over it.  I’m over the whole thing.  It’s just two more cases of friendships that aren’t what I thought they were. 

It’s such a bitch.