Discovered
22 04 2008I had a weekend completely to myself. On Friday afternoon, B called to say he would be going out of town for the weekend to visit some family. Bummed out, I wondered “What am I going to do with all this time alone?” I started thinking of ways to entertain myself, and stressing out about being in our house alone. We live in a neighborhood that’s beautiful, but to be honest, quite freaky at night. There aren’t a lot of street lights, and it’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop in your neighbor’s house. I tend to close all the blinds and turn on all the lights when I’m there alone, and well, it’s a little more than unsettling.
But I found that when left to my own devices for 2 nights and 2 days, I’m actually quite happy. Oh, of course I missed B. That’s a given. But it was good to stay quiet, not talking very much, and spend time with my dogs and cats in peace and quiet. I watched movies. I sang to the radio. I cleaned the house. I did all the laundry I could find then put it all away (which, let’s be honest, is about as rare as me working out, haha). I cooked meals for myself, with only my needs in mind. I curled up on the couch with my blanket and a book and read until it was finished. I snuggled and played with my puppy. I took B’s dog for a long walk. I slept in and went to bed late. I layed in the middle of the bed. I checked the mail and sorted all of the paperwork that was waiting to be filed. I gave myself a pedicure. I curled my hair and put on makeup for no real reason. I gave myself a facial and shaved my legs. I did all this for me. And you know what?
It felt fantastic.
Don’t get me wrong, I was definitely glad to have B come home…and those shaved legs were useful for the fun we had on Sunday evening. And though it might seem small to others, to me, it was a huge success. Normally I’m so stressed out worrying about things that could happen to me when I’m alone (break-in, rape, torture, you know) that I forget to enjoy the quiet. (Anxiety much?) But this time, I took time to stop and smell the roses. Metaphorically speaking.
I kinda can’t wait until this happens again!
Awesome. I spent a lot of time alone as a kid, and even though I’ve had my fair share of alone time since I married, when WH started going into the field for eight days at a time, I was racked with anxiety.
At some point, probably after I got done laying in the floor and crying over some simple frustration I’ve never had to deal with alone before, I realized……
I’m a grown up! I can do anything I wanna do! I’m not afraid! Not even of rapists and robbers, as long as I have my loaded .357 in my nightstand.
Not long after that, it occurred to me- I *like* being alone for days. Not all the time, and thankfully, WH has a nice local job now, but that solitude, the selfishness that isn’t even selfishness because there isn’t anyone else there to consider, is incredible.
I have a lot of alone time (long distance) and it has definitely taught me a lot about myself and what I want to do and what I care about. It definitely can be a good thing (every once in a while)!
I often forget how much I love and NEED alone time and definitely don’t get enough of it. Good for you girl.
Because of L’s work schedule, I’m at the house by myself about 3 nights a week and I’m the same way. I get so freaked out and hear all these crazy sounds that are really just nothing. Glad you had a great weekend!
sometimes the best date you can have is yourself
I feel the same way…sometimes when G is gone I get anxious and nervous about him being gone, because I don’t want to be alone. But then I kind of enjoy it when he is gone. I have a good time doing what I want to do and not thinking about his needs and what he wants to do.
I do this all the time. It’s perfect. And it’s a time when you realize how much you really just enjoy yourself.
Ha.