Stress. I haz it.

Something’s been “off.”  I’ve been hungrier, insatiable when it comes to food, really.  I can’t sleep.  As soon as I lay down to go to sleep, my mind races and I feel like I can’t shut it off.  And just today, I developed a stomach ache from hell that, while helpful in the fact that my appetite is now diminished, has made my ability to focus at work all but non-existant.  What’s the deal?

I think I’m officially stressed out.  Stress is something we’re all used to.  Often, we say “God, I’m so stressed out!”  But how often is really STRESS, and not just an irritating situation?

In case you were wondering, here are the top ten stressful life situations, courtesy of HelpGuide.org:

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Top Ten Stressful Life Events

1. Spouse’s death
2. Divorce
3. Marriage separation
4. Jail term
5. Death of a close relative
6. Injury or illness
7. Marriage  <————- Oh, why hello!
8. Fired from job
9. Marriage reconciliation
10. Retirement

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Yes, my friends, I believe I’m suffering from a bout of actual, physical and emotional STRESS.  I’m not pandering for sympathy.  I just thought maybe all of us could use this information at some time. 

Stress Warning Signs and Symptoms
Cognitive Symptoms	Emotional Symptoms
Memory problems (CHECK!) Inability to concentrate (CHECK!) Poor judgment Seeing only the negative (CHECK!) Anxious or racing thoughts (CHECK!) Constant worrying (CHECK!)	Moodiness (CHECK! CHECK!) Irritability or short temper (CHECK!) Agitation, inability to relax (CHECK!) Feeling overwhelmed (CHECK! CHECK! CHECK!) Sense of loneliness and isolation Depression or general unhappiness
Physical Symptoms	Behavioral Symptoms
Aches and pains (CHECK!) Diarrhea or constipation (CHECK! Also? TMI.  Sorry.) Nausea, dizziness Chest pain, rapid heartbeat Loss of sex drive Frequent colds	Eating more or less (CHECK!!!!!!!!!  HELP!) Sleeping too much or too little (CHECK!) Isolating yourself from others Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities (OMG, CHECK!) Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

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So, what do I do?  Well, now that I understand the reasons behind my persistent back and neck pain, inability to relax my shoulders, stomach pains, insatiable appetite, moodiness, avoidance of social situations and general unwillingness to DO ANYTHING, I think I need to find a way to manage my stress and fucking relax, already.

Oh, hi.  I’m getting married in 9 days.  Does everyone feel this way 9 days before their wedding?  It’s almost unthinkable to me that in 9 days I have to put on my wedding dress, walk myself down the aisle, and interact with 60 of my nearest and dearest.  But, it has to be done.  Nay, I’m looking forward to it, as long as I survive until next Saturday and not too many things go wrong.  However, it’s almost unreal the amount of things I have to do before then.  I’m paying my final bill today (hallelujah!  We paid for this baby ENTIRELY BY OURSELVES!  I hear a “how to pay for your wedding by yourself when your family SUCKS” post coming on, post-honeymoon!), and then it’s all about making sure I’ve got everything packed and ready to go.  But there’s the terrifying task of dealing with our families in the next few days to figure out and attend to.

So I beg you, please tell me what you do to relax!